By Yari

Suffering is a choice. It is part of the Point of View (POV) you have created for yourself at any moment in time. Your point of view (POV) is a combination of your perception, thoughts and emotional states, but emotional states is a misnomer unless you think of the word "state" as in "geographic location"--in that case the term "state" is quite apt. It is an appropriate model to think of your emotional state as a place you go to, rather than something that is generated inside of you. I want to introduce you to this different paradigm because I find it very useful. The more accepted paradigm of your body as an emotion factory is a self-defeating metaphor, so try this new model. In the article Resonate View, I use the paradigm of a radio channel representing your POV. This is also useful.

There is a popular adage that you have to "work through your emotions", meaning something like: you have to experience your emotions fully until they somehow dissipate. But in actuality, the more you experience these emotions, the more they become a habit. And the more this habit is ingrained, the more you will suffer and the less likely they will dissipate.

Imagine that Utah correlates to oppressive hopelessness, Colorado: joyful elation, New Mexico: abject loneliness, and California: celebratory awe. Now you are going about your business, flying above the western states, and some past memory enters your mind; that awful memory of unrequited love for example, and suddenly BAM! there you are landing in New Mexico met by a million others suffering from that same POV of "unrequited love syndrome".

The important concept here is that you have a choice whether to land in New Mexico or not. It was you that decided to land in New Mexico rather than Colorado, even if you don't remember the exact moment that you made the decision. What's more, it is your very identification with your emotional states that traps you. You believe they are a part of you, living inside of you, a testimony to your past painful experiences and you call them "yours." You don't see the truth that these emotional states have their own home, totally separate from you, and that it is you that goes to visit them in their domain. You go there more out of habit than any other reason.

If you want to break this habit of unconsciously visiting, or should I say indulging in these painful emotions, the first thing to do is to increase your awareness of exactly what the process is. You can do this my literally mapping your emotional states.

The POV Awareness Game
Create a system such as description/color/name for your emotions. The name can include a number from 1-5 that will help you code the intensity of the emotion. Code your most common unpleasant emotions that you would prefer to not fall prey to as well as a few of your preferred emotional states.

The final goal is for you to be able to decide which emotional state you will reside in at any point in time.

Here is an example of how you might begin your mapping:

Despondency: grayish-yellow; Despondent2ville
Elation: pinkish-orange; Elation4ville
Anger: reddish-black; Anger5ville
Open expectation: pale blue-violet; Opexpec3ville
Depression: greenish-gray; Depress4ville